45 Reasons Why Video Poker is Better than Sex

Video Poker vs. Sex This article is going to be a fun little piece on why video poker is better than sex. We're going to try to come up with 45 reasons, let's see if we can do it:

Being quick at video poker is a good thing.
You don't have to turn the machine on before you start playing.
When you give your money to a video poker machine, it gives you a chance to win it back.
You can have meals delivered to the video poker machines. Full meals, not just whipped cream and strawberries.
You can stick your "player card" in as many "machines" as you like with no repercussions.
The casinos wash the machines every day.
You don't have to put on a "glove" to play with a video poker machine.
You'll never hear a video poker machine say "Not now, I'm tired."
You can play video poker online. Good luck convincing a girl to do that.
You can switch from machine to machine at any time.
When you're done playing you don't have to stay overnight.
The machine never steals the blanket.
Once you finish a session, you can start a new one right away.
If you have to wrap things up early tonight, that's perfectly fine.
The machine never fakes a jackpot.
Machines never "have to get up early tomorrow."
Cute girls bring you drinks while you're playing.
No matter how drunk you are, you can still work the equipment.
Don't worry about breakfast in the morning, the machine isn't hungry.
"Eating" at a video poker machine is a pleasant experience.
No one is getting rug burn.
Only professionals will come in through the back door.
Anyone can be a player.
Nothing itches or burns the next day.
If the machine swallows your money, you don't have to kiss it goodbye.
Playing with two machines at the same time is perfectly acceptable.
Even if a machine isn't getting much action, it doesn't sprout a forest.
Machines work all month long. No weeks off here.
Video poker machines don't care if you check out other machines.
When you hit a jackpot, the coins never shoot into your face.
If the initial deal isn't so great, you always get a draw to redeem yourself.
No matter how much of a slump you're in, the machine won't leave you.
If you have a bad session, no one will tease you.
Machines can last as long as you can.
The machine doesn't care how experienced you are.
You can play any machine, even if it's 25 years younger than you are.
Machines are legally required to put out 75% of the time.
If another player is getting tired, you can hop on their machine.
You can take pictures of your finest "jackpots."
Don't worry about going to jail, because minors aren't allowed in the casino.
A video poker machine won't gain weight after you've been playing it for a while.
If a machine catches you with another machine, there won't be any lamps thrown, knives drawn, or machine guns fired.
Even if you take a beating, you can play again the next day.
If you don't shower before playing, the machine won't turn you away.
No mater how much you take out of a machine it will still give you more.

Got ideas for other reasons why video poker is better than sex? Contact us so we can add your suggestion!